systematisierter Wahn..

I was watching the news last night when I heard that some sort of bomb went off near SLU and that some students got hurt. My initial reaction was to worry. It was like my heart jumped up to my throat. Paranoia kicked in. What if he was one of the people who got hurt? I hoped he was ok. I had to make sure so, since I don’t have his number anymore, I texted one of his friends. When I didn’t get a reply, I texted his sister to ask her if he was ok. It turns out that he was. Ok, I mean. After not hearing from him for who knows how long, he texted me to assure me that he was fine. It was a huge relief to know that he was safe. He and I have not spoken to each other for quite some time now. It’s like we’re strangers to each other because he’s got this whole other life now. I, on the other hand, have been trying my best to put myself back together since January and I’d like to think that I’ve been fairly successful. I really am starting to forget about him and everything that happened between us or at least trying my best not to think about the memories and the person with whom I created them. But when I heard the news last night, I couldn’t help but worry. Despite the resentment that I feel for him, I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to him. I still care for him. I don’t think it’s something that will go away easily. I will always care for him. We did, after all, share a special bond even if it was just for a brief period of time.

On a totally different note…

We won against Ateneo last Sunday! Of course, everybody already knows about this. I just felt like putting it on my blog. ADMU may have won more games than us but what’s important is that we won against them when it mattered the most. Congratulations, Green Archers! Tomorrow’s the first championship game against UE. Lotsa luck to us. Animo La Salle!

Ich Liebe Es..

I said "devaluate" in IPOLECO yesterday. Is that even a word? The professor asked us what countries with balance of payment defecits would do to increase their export revenue if a fixed exchange rate did not exist. The answer is that they devalue their currency. But I said devaluate instead of devalue.I don't think the professor noticed though cause he said "correct!". Still, it's kinda embarassing.

I wish my parents had let me shift during frosh year. It would have saved us a lot of time and money. Anyways, it doesn't really matter anymore, does it? What does matter is that I enjoy going to school again because I'm really interested in all my subjects. I'm only takingfour subjects this term and all of them are majors: IPOLECO (International Political Economy), EURHIST (European History), PHILFOR (Introduction to Philippine Foreign Policy Analysis), and SPANONE (Spanish One). I absolutely love, love, love my course now.

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We lost to Ateneo by a point today. Darn. This coming Sunday's game ought to be really interesting. TY Tang was awesome today. So was Chris Tiu. Amf.

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The new coca-cola commercial is really cute.
"Give a little love and it all comes back to you..."

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I miss my family. Seven more months before I see them again. I can hardly wait.

I survived September 23..

Today is my maternal grandmother's 70th birthday. We celebrated it yesterday. The whole family threw her a party at the KC Hall in San Jose City, NE. She had around three hundred guests. My lola is fairly well known in our province because she's very active in community service stuff.I was supposed to give a speech yesterday but the program got messed up no thanks to some people who came two hours late (!!!) so we just did away with my speech. Here's what I would have said:

"I lived with my lola for six years before I moved to Manila and if there's one thing that I could say about her, it is that she possesses a very generous spirit. She is one of the most selfless people that I know. Whatever she has, she shares with the people around her. This is the trait that I admire most about her. If not for her generosity, me and my family wouldn't be where we are today. She has helped so many people and touched so many lives that it is no wonder that all the blessings that she has shared are coming back to her. Mommy, God knows the desires of your heart and whatever these are, I hope that Hefulfills them. May you have more birthdays to come and may you continue to be a blessing to others. Love you, Mommy! Happy Birthday."

Too bad I didn't get to say it. Try to be punctual next time, people! When we say 3:30, we don't mean 5:30!

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Belated kwento:

My 5 aunts from my mom's side, my lola's sister, my cousin, his girlfriend, and I went to Cebu and Bohol lat September 15. We stayed in Bohol for 2 nights andwe spent 1 night in Cebu. We went back to Manila on September 18 (yeah, I know, I skipped school). That was my first time in the Visayas. Bohol is one of the best places that I've been to so far.It's so clean and peaceful. We went to eat at a floating restaurant in Loboc river, we went to see the chocolate hills,we saw a man-made forest, my companions went to the the biggest python in captivity (I'm ophidiophobic so I just stayed at the souvenir shop), and, of course, a trip to Bohol would not be complete without seeing Tarsiers (so cute!). My aunts rented a beach front bungalow in Panglao so the first thing that I saw when I woke up in the morning was a white sand beach. It was awesome. On our second day in Bohol, my aunts and I took a 1 hour boat ride to the island next to ours, Balicasag. It was a terrifying trip because it was quite windy and rainy so the waves were pretty big but we made it alive so I'm not complaining.Balicasag has a marine life sanctuary so we went snorkeling. Guess what, I found Nemo! There were fishes of every imaginable color and varying sizes. I evensaw a blue starfish. It was one of the coolest things that I've ever seen in my life. After lunch, we set out to return to Panglao. But we made a quick stopat a sand bar in the middle of the sea. I know, I've this a lot in this entry but let me say it again, it was so cool. The next day, we went to Cebu where we went to see Magellan's cross, went to a dried mango factory, went to the dried fish market, and so on. I could go on an on and on about thisvacation so I'll just shut up about it now. There are photos on my multiply site if you wanna see them: kitekat.multiply.com.

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It was September 23 yesterday. Grr. Rawr. And AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

At least I didn't spontaneously combust like I thought I would.

Great.

Counting Down...

September 12.

I'll be nineteen in a few hours.

Darn.

I don't think my 18th year was wasted, though.

I had a lot of fun.

I made mistakes.

I learned.

I've done a bit of growing up thanks to all the tough sh*t that I had to go through.

I've been a total wreck but I've managed to pull myself together just in time.

It's been one heck of a roller coaster ride.

But, to use a hackneyed phrase, "I've only just begun".

I am barely skimming the surface of harsh reality of life.

At least I'm getting plenty of practice for when I have to face even tougher sh*t in the future.
I'm not complaining.

Why should I?

Despite everything, I am very blessed: great family, awesome friends, good school, and so on.

I have plenty to be thankful for.

God is good to me and that's all there is to it.

I hope my 19th year in this world is as interesting as the last one.

CHEERS..

I love September.

I'm turning nineteen in twelve days' time.

A lot of my friends and family will be celbrating their birthdays this month as well.

It was during this month last year when I inadvertently ruined my own life. But whatever. That's supposed to be water under the bridge now.

August was a lot fun.

Making the most out of my eighteen-dom and freedom and whatnot.

This has been a jampacked week.

Greenhills with my roommates last Wednesday. (Where we got free Krispy Kreme doughnuts and an impromptu tour of the KK kitchen where they taught us how to makes doughnuts. Yey!)

Serendra and Market! Market! with roommates last Thursday where I discovered that I have a fascination for waterfalls. Don't ask. Then Coal at Harbor Square later that night. Good times.

MOA with college friends yesterday then MOA again later that night with roommates. Coal again afterwards with roommates and their friends.

Time for a bit of rest now.

I'm going home.

I'll probably sleep the whole term break.

Happy first of September to y'all.

At random..

I attended a Philosophy lecture yesterday. Something about the philosophy of culture. I wouldn’t have gone if it wasn’t a requirement for PHILPER . The speaker, Mr Centeno, is an assistant professor at the Department of Philosophy in Saint Louis University in Baguio City. He started off his lecture by greeting us in Ilocano and Pangasinense. I only understood the former. It was an ok lecture. He showed us pictures of SLU. Tralalalala.

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I went on a food trip with my aunt, uncle, and cousins today. There is some sort of bazaar near the Lung Center of the Phlippines every Sunday. The products range from the edible to the wearable to the cuddly (pets for sale). The food was awesome. We had Ilocano empanada. (The genuine kind. The kind that I go to Ilocos for almost every holy week.) I had churros. And my cousins and I discovered cheesecake pops. May I just say that whoever came up with the idea of putting New York Cheesecake on a popsicle stick and then covering it with chocolate is a certified genius. I ended up eating two. It was well worth 70 pesos per piece. I may have to go back there next Sunday for another one of those. They’re really, really, really goooood.

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After the food trip, we went to Greenhills.

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After Greenhills, we went to the First Philippine International Motor Show at the World Trade Center.

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I am in love with the Mitsubishi Eclipse GT. Ma and Pa, my birthday is coming up. I am of driving age now. I have been for more than two years now. Ehem. Ehem.

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After that we ate at a restaurant in Binondo. I forgot the name. But the food was great.

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I love food. I really do. It’s a darn shame that I gain weight easily so I have to control my eating. I envy people who can eat whatever they want without worrying about weight gain and all.

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I miss my high school friends. Hanging out with May, Nicky, and DR last Friday was über fun. I hope we can do it again soon. Those guys are some of the nicest friends that a person could hope for.

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I’m bored. I should be doing my Math homework but I don’t know where to start.

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Finals week is coming up. I should start panicking now.

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I wonder what I could do so I won’t get bored silly during term break. Any suggestions?

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I should stop coming home at 2 or 3 or 4 in the morning. It’s unhealthy. It gives me headaches. I should give myself a curfew. Like 12 midnight or something. But I’ll do that after Sheila’s official birthday treat next week. Hehe.

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I want a cheesecake pop.

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I should go now. My Math homework beckons. Ciao.

Murrisch

I’d like to think that I’m a good-natured person. I am usually cheerful or pleasant or friendly but more and more people have been telling me that I’m becoming “suplada”. I kinda noticed it too. I’ve been really grumpy, irritable, moody, sarcastic (even more so), and so on for the past seven months or so. I am easily annoyed and I tend to snap at people when they get on my nerves. I never used to do those kinds of things but I guess my frustrations are starting to leak out of me or whatever. I’m not trying to make excuses for my bad behavior. I know it’s wrong to take your anger out at other people. It’s just that I can’t help my big mouth. I feel so mean. I really don’t want to be but it just so happens that I’ve come across a lot of irritating people lately. I’ve said over and over and over again that I’m not good at verbally asserting myself. I’m really not because I’m afraid of offending other people or hurting other people’s feelings and stuff. But lately, it’s like my mouth has had a life of its own. It says whatever it wants whenever it wants to other people regardless of potentially hurting their feelings. In Tagalog, nambabara na ko ngayon. It’s awful. It really is. I never used to do it before. I made someone cry because of my harshness. I’ve been told that I’m being offensive (probably because I told him that his species disgusts me or something to that effect). I’ve gotten in verbal spats more times than I can count. It’s like I’m not me anymore. I like being nice to people. I really do. I try my best to be. Because I don’t wanna be tagged as bitchy or whatever. So I’m sorry if you’re one of the people whose heads I bit off. I didn’t mean to be mean. Just keep in mind that I wouldn’t have been so nasty if you hadn’t been so callous yourself. I’m trying to be a good person again. Work with me here.