Murrisch

I’d like to think that I’m a good-natured person. I am usually cheerful or pleasant or friendly but more and more people have been telling me that I’m becoming “suplada”. I kinda noticed it too. I’ve been really grumpy, irritable, moody, sarcastic (even more so), and so on for the past seven months or so. I am easily annoyed and I tend to snap at people when they get on my nerves. I never used to do those kinds of things but I guess my frustrations are starting to leak out of me or whatever. I’m not trying to make excuses for my bad behavior. I know it’s wrong to take your anger out at other people. It’s just that I can’t help my big mouth. I feel so mean. I really don’t want to be but it just so happens that I’ve come across a lot of irritating people lately. I’ve said over and over and over again that I’m not good at verbally asserting myself. I’m really not because I’m afraid of offending other people or hurting other people’s feelings and stuff. But lately, it’s like my mouth has had a life of its own. It says whatever it wants whenever it wants to other people regardless of potentially hurting their feelings. In Tagalog, nambabara na ko ngayon. It’s awful. It really is. I never used to do it before. I made someone cry because of my harshness. I’ve been told that I’m being offensive (probably because I told him that his species disgusts me or something to that effect). I’ve gotten in verbal spats more times than I can count. It’s like I’m not me anymore. I like being nice to people. I really do. I try my best to be. Because I don’t wanna be tagged as bitchy or whatever. So I’m sorry if you’re one of the people whose heads I bit off. I didn’t mean to be mean. Just keep in mind that I wouldn’t have been so nasty if you hadn’t been so callous yourself. I’m trying to be a good person again. Work with me here.