Random Thoughts and Mixed Emotions..

So the Thesis Proposal Defense went well enough. We answered the first few questions but we faltered in some as well. The most embarrassing mistake we made was not being able to answer when we were asked who the proponent of the Feminist Legal Theory is. We should've seen that one coming. Oh, well. We passed. While it chagrins me to have to succumb to mediocrity, I couldn't help but feel relieved that we did not fail. I'm the kind of person who always likes to look on the bright side. We're very thankful that we got a very kind reader who was nice enough to give us some really useful pointers and our mentor was really cool, too. Our reader even noticed my "killer shoes". Haha.

We couldn't relax entirely though. Not yet anyways because we have some major revisions to make. Plus I still have that final exam in International Law on Friday. Just the thought of it makes me want to hyperventilate. 

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I am being bored out of my mind here at home. All my friends seem to be preoccupied with one thing or another. I want to go out but everyone seems busy. And I really don't feel like going out alone.  I'm thinking of taking Kiko out but I'm not sure where to go. Luneta? I don't feel comfortable going alone there at night. Makati? Hmm. I dunno. Speaking of Kiko, I just remembered that I want to take him to school tomorrow because I wanna get shots of the Christmas Lanterns and Twinkly Lights. They're really pretty. 

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I've had a very interesting week. Actually, the word interesting is a bit of an understatement. It's been very eventful. I've experienced a whirlwind of feelings that I can't even begin to fathom. I've done things that I've never done before without having really concrete explanations as to why I did them. I don't know what kind of person I am turning into. All I know so far is that I have no regrets and I don't think I ever will because I made conscious choices and I am prepared to take full responsibility for them. I think I am mature enough to handle that much at least. 

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I think I am in a fairly complicated situation right now. I like someone who loves someone else. I can't seem to find the strength to stay away from him because I really, truly like him a lot. Am I in love? Maybe my feelings aren't quite THAT strong yet, I guess, but they could evolve if I don't watch myself. I have to repress my feeling because I know that I am not his kind of girl and if I fall harder for him, it would only hurt so much more. So I'm just being a friend to him. I'm trying not to like him so much. Falling for him would be so easy. It would be exactly as effortless as falling down a cliff. While trying NOT to fall for him is the exact opposite. It's as hard as dragging yourself up a cliff face. So we're just friends. We're VERY weird friends. But still, that's what we are. 

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I am still very, very bored here at home. 

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Today is the birthday of one of my exes. I greeted him through a Friendster comment. Even if he didn't greet me on my birthday, I decided that I wouldn't be bitter about it so I wished him a happy birthday. That's when I found out that he has a new girlfriend. Surprisingly, I don't care. I was intrigued, of course. But you know what, it didn't even hurt. I just wish the girl plenty of luck and I sincerely hope that she keeps her sanity intact. I am expressing this with as very little sarcasm as I possibly could. *insert super big smiley here*

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I just saw my pre-final grade in International Law. It's good. It could be better but I won't complain anymore. I was hoping to make it to the First Honors Dean's List this term but I guess I can't but if I do well enough on the finals, I might just make it to Second Honors instead. *crosses fingers*

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I have long been intending to buy La Salle stickers to put on George. I finally found the time to get some today. The stickers look great on my laptop. I should've gotten them ages ago.

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I had dinner at Pizza Hut last night with Kei-An, Gene, and Grace. I'm not really very close with Gene and Grace but the four of us shared a table. They were nice. The Pizza Hut crew was exceptionally slow last night so we got back at them by writing scathing comments on the evaluation sheets. Well, they weren't really scathing, we were just being honest. The Roma Pizza is good, by the way. 

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*sigh*