Saturday, December 06, 2008

Ten Things I Hate About Love

Sure, there are lots of things to like about love. But, unfortunately, while there may be a positive side to everything, there's also the negative face. Here's a list of the top ten things that we love to hate about love.

The way it can make you do crazy things. Whether it's something as outrageous as getting your special someone's name tatooed on your hiney or stalking the object of your affections, there's no doubt that love can loosen a few screws in your head. 

The way it can make you feel different emotions all at the same time. Have you ever felt elated, anxious, enraged, blissful, empty, and fulfilled all in the span of five minutes? No? Then you've never been in love. 

All the irritating butterflies in your stomach. Falling in love has a way of suddenly turning your tummy into the world's largest butterfly house. All those critters in there, so to speak, just give you that sickening feeling that kind of makes you wanna hurl. Now who would want that?

The way it can put you in a daze. Recall those moments when you get that glazed look in your eyes and you just phase out and slip into "the zone" because you're thinking of the love of your life. Not only does it embarrass you when people gawk at you because you look stoned, it makes you look stupid too.

The way it can make you forget some of the important people in your life. The moment you and your beloved hook up, you start living in a different dimension. You start blowing off gimmicks with friends, skipping on Sunday lunch with relatives, missing your fave shows, the list goes on and on and on. Spending time with your sweetie is all good and well but don't shunt aside all the people who have been with you through thick and thin way before your sweetheart entered the scene. 

The way it can make you stupid. When you are in love, your IQ has a tendency of dropping from genius to a few notches below average. It sort of burns all your neurons, consuming them 'til they're nothing but wisps of smoke so that your usual bitingly witty self is reduced to speaking gibberish when the object of your affections is anywhere within a 5-mile radius of you. 

The way it can make you blind. Everyone knows this cliche. Love has a way of making you want to shield yourself from the truth as long as you remain in your happy little world wherein lovers don't cheat on each other, no one lies, no one gets hurt, and everyone is ridiculously merry. Two words for you: wake up! Sure the truth can suck but the more you deny it, the more you will get hurt when you finally decide to stop pretending and start seeing the ugly, naked truth that it's impossible to love and not get hurt in the process.

The way it can make you lose so much sleep. We need eight hours of sleep a day. Sadly, we lose about half of it (if not more) whenever we ponder on thoughts concerning "the one". When we finally succumb to sleep and manage four hours worth of slumber, we wake up in the morning with a colossal headache, baggy aching eyes, and grouchiness that could add a few wrinkles to our already creased faces. It's not exactly what one could call refreshing. 

The way it can make you cry. Whether it's crying tears of joy or wallowing in a puddle of grief, your beloved consumes about half of your whole's life supply of tears. And crying for whatever reason never fails to make anyone's eyes look all red and puffy. Not very attractive, is it?

The thing that I hate the most about love is that it can break your heart. We're talking about almost literally ripping out someone's full-sized aortic pump out of their chest, hurling it across the room, and then stomping all over it wearing shoes that were made for climbing ice walls (you know, the ones with the sharp little spikes). Allowing yourself to fall in love is setting yourself up to get hurt in some way. It's kind of masochistic actually. At one episode of your life, you will love and lose.

Like I've said before, love is not all milk and honey. It also has ampalaya moments. Getting hurt, getting that feeling that just makes you want to hurl is all part of it. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not suggesting abstaining from love or something like that. These are just things to watch out for when your moment finally comes. If you think you're ready to actually take your own dosage of luuurve, you should be prepared to tackle its side effects. 

* NOTE: I wrote this when I was in high school. It's so cheesy which is why I find it absolutely hilarious now. It's kinda embarrassing to share because it's very corny but a few friends of mine liked it and asked me to post it. Here you go. 

photo by: hiriell (

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